Chhaya headed for the kitchens after serving lunch to get a quick bite to eat before she would need to tend to the General. General James Connolly came to stay with the king a couple of months ago to take the place of the general before him who perished after 25 years of battle. Chhaya turned into the doors to the kitchen, “Chhaya I was expecting you, now come eat your food while it’s hot” said Rashmi. Rashmi was one of the cooks of the castle, she had been watching over Chhaya since she was a little girl after her mother and father died when they were hit by a bomb from the British in Kashmir. The food felt so good in her tummy. She hadn’t eaten any breakfast because the general had her up at dawn and she had been working, doing his laundry and such all morning, she came to find that he was one dirty man. Chhaya looked out of the window that was sitting near the top of the wall. It was almost noon which meant the general and kings were ready to set out to make speeches in downtown Agra. “Rashmi I have to go, king Bahadur and General Connolly are almost ready”
“Ok, but make sure you are not late for dinner again”
“I will not”
Rashmi started washing the dishes as Chhaya headed down the narrow hallway. There were pictures lining the wall of all the rulers before King Bahadur. Chhaya hated walking down this hallway, Every time she could have sworn somebody was watching her, like the eyes were following her. She entered the premises of the main hallway and King Bahadur and General Connolly stood at the head of the marble stairs and was beginning to walk down the red linen that covered each stair. General Connolly was not very aged he looked as if he were in his mid 30’s. He had a much defined jaw line as if he always had his teeth clenched tightly together; his nose was long and rounded at the tip. His hair was covered by his hat but Chhaya had seen him with his hat off and knew that his hair was dark brown and long enough that it sat atop his head. He had He was dressed in night sky blue trousers that were the same color as his jacket that matched the color of his eyes. He was walking alongside king Bahadur who was dressed in long red robes that were lined with a thin stitching of gold. The kings shaggy jet black hair was covered by his red turban. Chharya was startled that king Bahadur looked as if he were enjoying the conversation he was having with General Connolly. Chhaya had over heard King Bahadur although she scorned herself for doing so, saying that he wanted General Connolly to leave or he may have to help him find the door. Chhaya greeted the two at the foot of the stairs with a low bow. “ahh, hello Chhaya” said the general. Chhaya bowed her head in reply
“Now Chhaya make sure you tend to General Connolly’s room. Chhaya nodded and then they headed off towards the front doors. Chhaya hurried up the stairs to go tend to the generals room. When she walked inn she found nothing out of place from yesterday except for the fact that the bed was unmade. This was not the first time the general had done this. She found it very strange; nobody she had ever worked for had done this. After she had finished tiding the room up she went to the kitchen and Rashmi was preparing lunch. “Oh just the person I wanted to see, Chhaya I need some beef and spices”
“That’s great, I’ve been wanting to get out of the house”. Rashmi handed chhaya a sling to put al the food in and sent her off out of the door. Chhaya walked out of the backdoor in the kitchens and started down the hill towards the town where the meat and spices were sold. Nearing the town she saw the square where the king and general were supposed to speak. Chhaya wanted to stop by the speeches because ever since she was a little girl she had love the politics in India but Rashmi always said that girls were not meant to do that. Chhaya quickly got the meat and spices from the vendor Rashmi always took her too. After loading her sling with the stuff that Rashmi asked for she veered towards the stage where the king and emperor were talking. Chhaya made her way into the crowd and saw that the king looked stricken with anger while the general had a smirk wipe across his face. “I can assure you that the general and I are doing everything we can in order to bring peace upon India” said the king
“But we will not be withdrawing any troops anytime soon” said the general. All it sounded like to Chhaya was that the general and the King were not going by the plan; Chhaya thought they were going to try to agree in front of the people. A couple of minutes later the two got down off of the stage and starts towards their car. They must have been speeding because by the time Chhaya got home she walked over to the general’s room but before she got to the room she overheard hushed voices in the king’s room. “We must get him out somehow, the people are starting to ask questions” said a gruff voice
‘Well I can only think of one thing and I think you know who I’m talking about”
Chhaya heard a grunt and footsteps coming towards the door but she bolted away from the door back down the stairs
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5 comments:
hey there candidate Scego!
I think that your internal struggle or whatever is that she doesn't like the war and doesn't like the commander but she can't tell people her feelings because it's not her place. Her external struggle is that the king is trying to assasinate thecammander so he's doing it secretly by pretending that he likes the commander? Is that right? NO!
Loves ya!
-Molly
Nim nim,
that is a very good start to your story i want to read the rest and find out who they were talking about becusae i am too slow to figure it out myself...
from what i read, the internal conflict is chhaya being a made has to take care of general whats his face,i think she is going to get into some mischeive. also there is internal conflict between the king and general connolly and the people of the town. with the external conflict i sense some tension with india and an ongoing war. hmmmm dont i sound smmaarrt?? probably not!!! good job! -moe
hey i was right! i think that i didnt see the internal conflict... but i saw it starting to develope... i dont think you should change it though, cuz i really like the suspense and mystery! - moe again
Great start to your story. Excellent job giving details of the castle (?) and of Chhaya’s life there. Also, very nice work setting u the political intrigue with the king and the general. In terms of your inner conflicts, it seems like your story is being told from the perspective of Chhaya, so I am curious if you intend for the internal conflicts to come from her or if they are going to be about the king or general or both. It’s OK to use Chhaya as a way to get to the inner thoughts and ideas of either of those two, but if so you’ll need to shift the focus as you go along. Does that make sense? Also, FYI that you might want to call it a palace, as castles tend to exist in Europe, but not so much in Asia. Also, a heads up that cars didn’t come about until the early 1900’s. Good job overall so far, looking forward to reading the rest.
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